


Darkness, Be My Friend

by whitetiger91



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Death Eaters, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Phobias
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2019-02-17 20:39:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13084932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whitetiger91/pseuds/whitetiger91
Summary: Belenus Nott was not afraid of the dark.





	Darkness, Be My Friend

**1998**

"Don't break anything we could use!" Belenus Nott hissed, noticing that Augustus Rookwood was waving his wand near a table lined with love potions.

Rookwood snorted and flicked his wand. The potion bottles exploded, and various shades of pink and purple liquid splashed around. Before their fumes could permeate the air, however, he flicked his wand again and the potions vanished.

"They're no good to us," Rookwood said.

"Yeah, you have trouble or something with love, mate?" Corban Yaxley said, pushing over a shelf of sweets.

Belenus turned his back on the careless fools. He had to make sure that the blood traitors' shop was destroyed, preferably without damaging any product that could possibly help the Dark Lord's cause.

"Yaxley, get over here and gather some—"

Before Belenus could finish, however, a loud crash echoed throughout the room, followed by a yelp. He swivelled his head around to see what had happened, but there was no point. A thick fog of black smoke clouded the air, making it impossible to see.

"I'm blind!" Yaxley shouted.

"What is this?" Rookwood asked. "Is it a trap?"

Whilst Rookwood was blabbering, Belenus tried to cast a simple _Lumos_ charm, yet not even the golden light from the tip of his wand could push through the darkness. Using his hands to feel around, he made his way slowly to the edge of the room.

"I can't see anything! What's going on?" Yaxley asked.

"Shut up!" Belenus shouted.

He found his heart thudding against his chest as the darkness closed in around him. His palms were sweaty and his robes suddenly felt too tight. Blinking rapidly, he cursed his eyes for not adjusting to the darkness, hoping light would enter the room soon.

* * *

_**1977** _

_Belenus' head was pounding. Every time he sat up, it would throb. It wasn't only his head acting up, either. Every now and then, when he was able to think of something happy, his stomach would twist and knot up, and he would be reminded that really, all was not well._

_Adjusting his position in bed, Belenus screwed his eyes up against the thin beam of light escaping the thick drapes that covered the windows. It was too bright. He turned his head away, but the movement only made his headache worse._

_Groaning, Belenus pulled up the quilt cover to hide his face, unable to look at anything belying wealth or at the empty bottles lying overturned on his bedside table._

_Darkness, that was what he needed, what he craved; what he did not need was someone knocking on the door._

_Belenus clawed the blankets and said, "What now?" only to wince at how loud his voice sounded._

" _I'm glad to see you awake," a soft voice said._

_Belenus sighed and inched the covers down to see his wife enter the room. She was already dressed for the morning, her auburn hair twisted up in a crown around her head._

" _Shut the door," he said._

_Rosalie rolled her eyes, striding towards him. She held a silver platter, and when she placed it on the bedside table, clearing the bottles away without comment, the smell of bacon, toast, and eggs permeated the air._

_Belenus' stomach churned again. "Don't we have house-elves for that?" he asked._

" _I thought I'd bring it in myself," Rosalie said, sitting down on the bed._

" _I doubt we'll be able to afford the bloody creatures much longer anyway."_

 _Rosalie took his hand, placing it between both of hers. She began to rub it, the_ _lace_ _of her robe cuffs tickling his skin. "It'll get better," she whispered._

_Belenus snorted and tugged his hand away. His head was still pounding, and it took all his energy to not to speak the harsh words at the tip of his tongue._

_She thought it would get better? Ha! There was no ruddy way he could fix this, at least not without having to borrow some money. No, the damage had already been done. By now, he was sure that many wizarding families had heard about his idiocy in investing in a company that promised billions of Galleons in return. A company that, as of last night, had been shut down and its owner arrested for embezzlement._

" _Everything is gone. It will take years to build it all back up again, years!" he said. Rosalie moved to clutch his hand again, but he ripped it away. Instead, his voice rising, he pulled the covers over his head and blocked everything out. "Do you not understand what this means? No, of course, you don't. People are going to talk about this forever!"_

_Belenus felt like his head would explode. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths._

_When he opened them again, he saw Rosalie standing over him, her eyes just as kind and unwavering as ever. She took his hand and placed a bottle in it, not letting go until his fingers closed around it._

_Belenus looked at the small blue phial, knowing before he even read the label that it was a brew to cure hangovers. His cheeks grew hot again, but Rosalie did not give him a chance to lose his temper. She popped the cork for him and raised the bottle to his lips, forcing him to take a swig._

_As the potion slipped down his throat, he watched Rosalie walk over to his dresser, pull out a new robe set for him to wear that day, and lay it across the foot of the bed. Flicking her wand at the curtains, she pushed them open. The room filled with warmth, and slowly Belenus found his headache subsiding._

_Rosalie sat back down on the bed, taking away the phial, and clutched his hand._

" _I'm telling you, Belenus Cantankerous Nott, we will get through this. Together."_

_Belenus opened his mouth to reply, but Rosalie fixed him with a firm gaze. He lost himself in the depth of blue, surprised that they still held so much love._

" _Now, get up and get dressed. I will not have you sitting here in the dark feeling sorry for yourself. Not when you should be out there, showing everyone else that we have nothing to hide. Go on, up with you," she said and placed a kiss on his forehead._

_When she had left the room and closed the door behind her, Belenus sat up. The room was now bathed in sunlight, yet he no longer felt the need to curse or squint. It seemed to fill him with some sort of hope that perhaps he could turn this around._

* * *

**1998**

Belenus continued to blink, his vision slowly restoring as light once more seeped into the shop. He shook his head, berating himself for feeling any sort of fear, and looked around the room.

Rookwood was pressed against the wall, his wand held out, head snapping from side to side as he readied himself to attack. Yaxley, on the other hand, was waving a hand in front of his eyes, a stupid grin on his face as he evidently realised that no, he was not going blind. Tables were overturned around him with a few potion bottles smashed at his feet.

Making sure no danger was present, Belenus marched over to Yaxley and clipped him over the ear.

"Ouch! What was that for?" Yaxley asked, snarling at him.

Belenus ignored him, bending down to examine one of the bottles. This one had not smashed, although its lid had popped open and a glittering, black powder had spilt out. Carefully nudging the remainder of the powder back inside with his wand, Belenus scooped up the jar and read the label: 'Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder.'

Of course, that would explain why the room had become dark so quickly. Belenus had heard of the product before, long ago when he was but a boy at school. His uncle had written to him from his travels in Peru, describing all kinds of magical inventions he had come across. One of them had been a powder the wizards there used to escape their enemies, shielding them in a black smoke thicker than normal light could penetrate.

Belenus clipped Yaxley over the ear again and said, "C'mon, stop fooling around. Let's finish destroying this place and leave."

Yaxley's scowl turned into a grin, and he joined Rookwood in blasting apart shelves. Belenus rolled his eyes and set fire to the back wall, ready to get the job done. Before he did, however, he tucked the bottle into the pocket of his robes, sure it would come in handy.

o.O.o

_**Later that evening...** _

Belenus raised a bottle to his lips, barely tasting the amber liquid as it burned his throat. His entire body was aching, the muscles stiff and sore. His head was pounding and his eyes were red. Glowering at the curtains that somehow failed to completely shut out the sliver of moonlight, Belenus took another swig of Firewhiskey.

They had completely destroyed the little shop, as the Dark Lord had ordered. But no, it had not been good enough. Because they hadn't seen Potter and his friends breaking into Gringotts, the Dark Lord had thought they had failed and had swished his wand about to teach them a lesson or two.

Wincing, Belenus placed the bottle on the coffee table. His head felt like a nail was being driven into it, and he knew the alcohol had little to do with it. No, the Dark Lord had felt the need to dive into his mind, wanting to know why they had failed to notice Harry Potter riding off with a dragon. When he had found out that his Death Eaters were apparently afraid of the dark, he had sent curse after curse at them.

Picking up his wand and waving it around a few times, Belenus managed to extinguish the flickering candles around him, bathing the room in darkness. He would show the Dark Lord that he was not a failure.

Darkness was his friend. He wasn't afraid of it; he never had been and never would be.

* * *

_**1981** _

_Pale green eyes widened in fear, thin lips popping open to emit a scream. A green light flashing, wild laughing…_

_Belenus sat upright in bed, tangled in floral sheets. Sweat coated his forehead, and it took a moment of staring into the darkness, waiting for his eyes to adjust, to remember that he was no longer in the dingy Muggle home he and his comrades had visited earlier that evening._

_Sighing, he leant back on his pillow, cursing himself for being so weak. He was Belenus Nott, for Merlin's sake. He had done the world a favour by ridding it of Muggle filth. He should be sleeping well, and yet this Muggle woman, whom he didn't even know the name of, was haunting his dreams._

_Rosalie stirred beside him, mumbling something about, "Not again."_

_Belenus knew perfectly well what she would say if she knew the nightmares were continuing. When the first dream had come, Rosalie had told him that it was all his fault. She would not hear any of his explanations that his 'job' was helping provide a better life for her and their soon-to-be child._

_Belenus closed his eyes. For a moment, it seemed that he would be able to get a good night's sleep after all. No images played behind his eyes. It was just darkness, soft and welcoming, enticing him to sleep._

_A skinny arm rose up, screams echoing…_

_Belenus sat up, his heart hammering against his chest. There was the woman again, begging for her life._

_Soft, golden light flooded the room, causing Belenus to scrunch up his eyes. Something touched his hand, and looking down, he saw Rosalie holding it._

" _If you want to talk about it, I'm here," she said, lighting the candle on her side of the bed._

_Belenus didn't move his hand, but said, "I thought you didn't want to hear about my 'evil work'. I deserve to feel awful, didn't you say?"_

" _I don't want to hear about it," she said, "but I don't particularly want my husband crying out at all hours of the night, either. Now, let's start at the beginning."_

_Belenus took a deep breath and squeezed Rosalie's hand. With the candlelight chasing away the image of the Muggle woman, he began to sort through his nightmares._

* * *

**1998**

Belenus leant forward and picked up the bottle of Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder sitting on the coffee table. The room spun from the exertion, but he managed to pop off the cork stopper.

Trying to steady his shaking hand, Belenus poured a small amount of the glittering powder into his hand. Then, realising that his heart was thumping traitorously, he shook his head and poured the remainder of the contents onto his palm. The powder was a hypothetical proof that he was not afraid of anything, and although no one was there to see, he hurled it into the air.

Yes, much better; it could not get any darker than it was now.

* * *

_**1993** _

_Belenus paced up and down, barking orders at the house-elves that scuttled about. "Close the curtains! The light won't help her headaches. Hurry up—"_

" _Belenus, please," a soft voice said. "I'm fine."_

_Swivelling his head, he saw that Rosalie was trying to prop herself up on the pillow. The scarf wrapped around her head slipped a little, but she moved a tiny, pale hand up to tug it back into place._

_Belenus strode over to her and sat on the side of the bed. He carefully pushed against Rosalie's shoulders so she would lay down._

" _You most certainly are not fine," he said, snapping his fingers for the attention of one of the elves._

_An elderly house-elf came scurrying over, a wet cloth in its wrinkly hands. Belenus snatched it up and waved the elf away. Wringing out any excess water, he placed it against Rosalie's forehead._

" _You need plenty of rest, Rose," he said, ignoring her feeble attempts to push his hands away._

_Rosalie sighed. "You always worry too much, Belenus."_

_Belenus rolled his eyes and dabbed the cloth over her forehead. He never worried about anything, ever._

_Rosalie smiled, as though she remembered something he didn't. The smile didn't last, however, for soon she closed her eyes, lips pursed, and gasped. Belenus' heart jumped, and his hand flew to hers, clutching it tightly. He squeezed it as she took one deep breath after another, face screwed up, trying to push away the pain._

_He didn't stop squeezing her hand, even when her face relaxed and she opened her eyes again._

_Belenus snapped his fingers again. "Elf! Hurry up, bring the medicine."_

_With a grunt, Rosalie placed her hand on his arm. "No. You know what I'd like," she said, nodding to the window to the right of the bed._

_Belenus followed her gaze and immediately shook his head._

_Rosalie had been bugging him for the last few weeks to let her outside in the fresh air and sunlight. He had refused to allow such nonsense, however, as he knew how many germs were outside and what could happen to her already poor immune system._

" _Belenus… please." Rosalie gripped his arm tighter. "Just ten minutes."_

_Looking at the window hidden by curtains, he sighed. "Alright."_

_o.O.o_

_It was warm outside, with a faint breeze taking away any heat from the sun as it beat overhead. Belenus watched Rosalie, surprised at how happy she was. A smile was on her lips as she soaked in the sun's rays, almost making him forget that she was sick._

" _This is wonderful," she said, stretching out her hands as if to catch the sun._

_Belenus barely grunted, his heart beating frantically. Every second they sat there, barely a metre from the manor doors, held even more possibility that germs could infect his wife._

_Rosalie sighed and closed her eyes. Light played over her face in dappled patterns, giving her skin a healthy glow and masking the unhealthy yellow pallor._

" _Belenus?" she said after a moment._

" _Yes?"_

" _Relax. I've told you, everything will be fine." Circling her thin arms around his own, she snuggled closer to him._

_Belenus watched her as she rested her head against his shoulder, and before long, her chest rose up and down in the even rhythm of sleep._

_For the first time since he had found out that his wife was sick, Belenus found a small smile creeping onto his own lips. He turned and watched the sun, clutching his wife tightly by his side._

* * *

**1998**

Belenus smiled to himself, looking around the room at nothing but blackness. See? There was nothing to worry about. The darkness was his friend.

Somewhere in the room, he could hear the antique grandfather clock's golden hands ticking away. _Tick. Tick. Tick._

The powder was lasting a long time. Not that it mattered. Sighing, he stretched his hand out in front of him, hoping to find a bottle of Firewhiskey not yet emptied. He cursed when his fingers banged against something large and solid, however, and gave up.

_Tick. Tick. Tick._

Well, no big deal, he could just spend the time relaxing. Belenus closed his eyes, settling further into the lounge. His mind ran over all the things he would have to do in the morning: find something clean to wear, report to the Dark Lord and—

His eyes flew open, images of green and red flashes and the screams of his comrades invading his mind. The room was still dark—darker than he remembered. Rubbing his eyes, he looked in the direction of where he thought the door was, wondering when the powder would wear off and the light would enter his life again.

_Tick. Tick. Tick._

A few minutes passed, but as the fog began to dissipate, he couldn't help one thought from circling his mind: he would probably never see the light again.


End file.
